As Long as He Held Her
by individuall88
Summary: It was all going to be, okay. She just knew it. As long as he held her, everything was going to be fine. Clois.


**Pairing: Clois**

**Rating: PG-13 (for language)**

**Disclaimer: Really? Do you honestly think I own anything? **

**Spoilers: Anything up season 7 and some season 8 spoilers are fair game!**

**Summary (ish): Clois comfort! That's all I'm sayin'**

**A/N So this fic was inspired by all the comforting moments we saw in season 7! I think it's a bit different though. Also my writing style is a little different too for this piece, I think it fits though. This isn't AU and I don't have a time frame for it or anything, it's just something that popped into my head one day. Anywho, I hope you enjoy! And remember feedback makes me smile with my heart! **

_**As Long as He Held Her**_

She stood there frozen in place, staring. Too stunned to do anything else. Her eyes wondered over his frail frame in disbelief. A pale blue sheet covered most of his bottom half, but his now, deflated looking arms rested above the warmth of the blanket, at his sides.

His eyes, though closed, had clearly sunken deeply into their sockets, underlined with thick dark circles. His lips seemed thinner than usual and Lois thought they looked strange without a stogie hanging languidly between them.

His skin reminded her of wrinkled wax paper, just thick enough not to be completely translucent. Despite his tired and worn out appearance there was still a glint of hardness to his features.

That comforted her a little.

She didn't know how long she had been standing at the foot of his hospital bed, gawking. Time seemed to have stopped as soon as she stepped into the room. She was sure of one thing though, the man lying in that bed was not her father. He couldn't be. It wasn't possible.

A three star general just didn't look that…small. Seeing him lying there like a helpless infant didn't just mortified her, it shook the foundation of her entire life.

Her father? Nope.

Her father was strong and big. The man before her looked weak and tiny

"Lo…?" The uncharacteristic softness of his voice startled her. He had almost sounded- brittle.

Lois fought the urge to grimace. His voice had never been soft…ever. Even when she was a child his voice was always assertive and forceful.

She remembered standing next to him at her mother's funeral. He placed one of his large hands on her shoulder. She recalled her six- year-old self-looking up at his rigid features, her hazel orbs filled with tears,

"_Soldiers don't cry, Lo." _

Even then his voice held a certain grain of harshness and authority. She shook the unpleasant memory away.

Willing her feet to move she slowly walked toward him.

"Daddy, you should rest."

She hesitantly touched his hand, afraid that even the slightest contact would cause it to shatter like thin glass. Her father mustered up the sternest look he could,

"I've rested plenty, Lo."

Lois didn't say anything; instead she pulled up a chair next to his bed and sat down.

"Is Lucy here?"

Lois nodded.

Her sister had flown in from God-knows-where yesterday. Lois would ask her later how she found out about the general, considering she'd been MIA for the past three years. And since Lex was more or less 'missing' all criminal charges had been dropped. So Lucy Lane had no problems getting back into the country.

"How is she holding up?"

"You know Lucy…"

It was amazing how she found herself reverberating back into old habits so naturally. The conversation was all too typical. Short and to the point void of emotion, an exchange of facts between two commanding officers about the troops.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. A father and daughter should not be having this type of conversation when the father was lying in a hospital bed. Families didn't function like the army, in fact they shouldn't! The Kents had taught her that. They were a real family. A close family, a family she was both proud and unsure about being considered a part of…

She wondered how different the scene would have played out if it had been Mr. Kent lying in hospital bed instead. Would she have ran to him and thrown her arms around him? Would she tell him that she loved him? Thanked him for never giving up on her, for always having faith in her abilities even when she screwed up?

No, she probably wouldn't have. But she would have wanted to. She would give anything to have that chance, now. Her surrogate father had been dead for over two years now.

But she couldn't dwell on the past; she had to stay focused on the present. Right now her real father, albeit attached to IV's and machines, was still alive. And, even though, the general differed immensely from Farmer Kent Sr. and her relationship with him was even more dissimilar then the one she'd shared with the late senator. He was her father, nonetheless. And if she knew the general he wouldn't appreciate a gushy show of emotion anymore than Lois would enjoy providing it.

Dammit all, if she wasn't her father's daughter to a tee! Maybe that's why they'd always had a rocky relationship. They were too much alike, stubborn and hot headed. But most of all they were both

Proud.

She'd always been taught to hold feelings of sorrow and anguish in. Lane's didn't do Vulnerability; it wasn't even supposed to be in their vocabulary. And therefore, Lois wasn't sure how to express her feelings appropriately in this situation. She never imagined she'd have to.

Usually a pint of rocky road and an old movie would suffice or a long hot bubble bath coupled with her favorite mix CD. Escaping reality so she could build a high enough wall to keep, prying well-meaning people out like her cousin and best friend.

A therapist her father had forced her to see for a few months during her 'rebellious years' had told her that she should cry. _"Crying is a healthy way to get out those bottled frustrations."_ Dr. Martin had said. What did that quack know, anyway?

Lois hated crying. It made her feel impotent and more exposed then she ever wanted to feel. Sure, she had shed a few tears over the years, like when she had permanently shut the door to her and Oliver's relationship and she had let Clark comfort her in moment of weakness.

Although, even that didn't count as _really_ crying…Lois hadn't _really_ cried since she was six. And it would be a cold day in Hell before she'd ever let herself break in front of the general, hospital or no hospital.

"_Soldiers don't cry, Lo."_

When she had received the call that her father had been rushed to a Metropolis hospital after collapsing in a meeting, She had stopped breathing. Everything had been like a blur, until she had stepped inside his room. She couldn't remember how she'd even gotten there. Had she driven or not? She must have because she'd been at the Planet. Right? She couldn't remember… that was… two days ago? Three, maybe?

She'd hardly been able to pay attention to the doctor, until she explained that Sam Lane needed a new heart. Lois couldn't fight the feeling of bitterness that spread throughout her chest. Damn heart conditions!

Jonathon Kent had died from a severe heart attack. Lois didn't even know that her father had been having trouble. According to the doctors he'd been taking medication for the past few years.

'_Why didn't he say something!'_

Her mind went into overdrive. A wave of emotions flooded her brain: grief, surprise, horror, and most of all anger. Damn his pride! He should have said something! There was no excuse; all the times she'd called him to check in. To make sure everything was okay…. Bottom line, he should have told her.

But what could she do?

Storm into his room on the warpath, and start berating him for his inexcusable actions?

_Yeah, that would be good for his heart_.

It didn't matter what she felt or what she wanted to do, because as soon as she saw him lying on that hospital bed…

"They have a heart. I'm going into surgery in a few hours." His weak voice brought her back to the present.

Lois knew that already. The surgeon had assured before she came in that heart transplants were pretty common, nowadays. But she knew there was still a risk with any procedure, especially those that included a vital organ.

What she couldn't wrap her brain around was the _how_. How could this happen to General Samuel Lane? It seemed inconceivable!

Yes, her father smoked and drank and he probably didn't eat as well as he should, but he was 'The General' for crying out loud! He was the strongest man she'd ever known. He was Daddy.

The same man that used to hoist her up on his shoulders with one arm. The same man who struck the fear of God into all of her boyfriends (the one's he knew about, at least) when she was a teenager. The same man who could make men twice his size tremble in their boots with the sound of his voice. Looking into his almost sickly hazel eyes, he was almost unrecognizable. This couldn't be the same man. Impossible.

Lois felt an unfamiliar twisting in her stomach. She wasn't upset or sad, or even apoplectic anymore, but honest to God scared.

Was this the day she had been dreading all her life?

She knew no matter what happened she had to be strong. Lucy was counting on that. She had been the rock when mom died and she would do it again if- worse came to worse.

She had been raised to be independent and self-sufficient. She took care of her own before she took care of herself. That was the way it worked in the army. The superiors watched over and guided the subordinates. Not that Lois considered herself superior by any stretch of the imagination, but she was always the strong one. Always the rock. That had been her role since she was a kid and frankly, she was pretty good at.

And this would be no different. She'd be prepared for the worst, because she had to be, like a good little soldier.

The bout of nausea hit her unexpectedly. She suddenly couldn't stand to look at him anymore, it wasn't right. He shouldn't be here. This shouldn't be happening. She had to get out.

She made a move to leave after lightly kissing the general's forehead. However, her getaway was cut short when he caught her gaze.

Father and daughter locked eyes for what seemed like days and for once they weren't trying to stare each other down, but rather communicate, both wanting to say the same thing and both unsure of how to say it.

Finally, Lois found her voice.

"I love you, daddy."

It was so soft Lois wasn't sure if he'd heard it until she saw him open his mouth, and for a moment she thought he might actually say it back, but that would be asking too much. He changed his mind and tightly closed his lips opting to nod instead. As much as she wanted to, Lois couldn't bring herself to even glance back one last time before rushing out the door.

Lois Lane hated hospitals. She was appalled at the way they smelled, the way they looked and how they were laid out, everything. She despised them. Which seems ironic considering how many times she's found herself as a patient. Hell, she should have her own private room in the Smallville Medical Center, by now.

The worst thing about hospitals was no doubt the waiting rooms; the name itself implied the one thing that Lois had never been a fan of-

_Waiting_.

They were so bland to; man she hated that. The walls were always the color of eggshells or 'pearls'. A splash of color wouldn't kill anybody.

Hopefully.

And then there was always that unmistakable feeling of powerlessness and apprehension that hung in the air like a fowl odor no one could find the source of.

And why the Hell couldn't these people spend a little more money on comfortable chairs? Was it so much to ask for a cushioned seat when waiting to see if her father lived or- well, the second part wasn't an option. _Stupid chairs._

After getting turned around twice (this was a much more complicated layout than Smallville's) Lois finally found her way back to the 'holding cell.'

As soon as Lucy spotted her sister she didn't hesitate to attack.

"How is he? Does he look good? What are they saying? Is he going to be all right? Lois what is going on!"

"he's…"

She was stumped.

For a woman who'd cashed in on a career that was dependant upon words Lois found herself at a loss on how to answer her sister's question. Lucy stared at her eagerly, her wide blue eyes impatiently awaiting answers.

"Why don't you go in and see for yourself. He's been asking for you."

Even as she said them, the words felt weird rolling off her tongue. She didn't sound like herself. Nevertheless, Lois did her best to give the younger Lane an encouraging smile as she watched her sprint toward their father's side.

Chloe immediately pulled her elder cousin into a tight embrace.

"How are you holding up?"

Lois could practically see the pity in her voice. And for a moment she hated her for it. Even though she knew it wasn't Chloe's fault. Pity was a natural reaction to her current situation. That's how people were programmed to behave when something tragic happens to a friend or relative, Lois knew this, and had even been guilty of it herself, still… it infuriated her.

"I'm fine Chlo, really. It's Lucy you should be worried about."

Thankfully, the words lacked the bitterness Lois felt coursing through her veins.

The tiny blonde cocked an eyebrow, and even though she wanted to, she didn't push the subject further. She knew how on edge Lois was; the reporter hadn't left the hospital in forty-eight hours. Chloe wanted to order her to go home and get some much-needed sleep, but knew the attempt would be futile. Sometimes the brunette was just too stubborn for her own good.

"I'm going to get some coffee, do you want any?"

Lois was relieved when Chloe shook her head and made a beeline for the coffee machine.

Salvation!

She found it a little odd that the coffee and snack machines were located in a small room at the far end of the cafeteria. It seemed like a waste of money just so your vending machines could have their own private accommodations complete with door and lock.

Letting out a heavy sigh she put the money in the slot and watched the brown liquid pour into the cheap styro foam cup. It wasn't the Talon or anything, but Lois decided the cup of Joe wasn't so bad once she added copious amounts of cream and sugar.

She shut the door, enjoying being alone for the first time in what seemed like forever. It was nice having a moment where she could just slow down and take a deep breath without fifty million people calling her asking if she was okay. They meant well, yes, but a person can only take so much.

For a split second she considered locking herself in. She wondered how long she would be able to get away with it before Chloe and her sister got suspicious. How long could she hide herself from a situation she didn't want to deal with?

The thought quickly passed, though. She had never been one to run from her problems. There was no point in moping or wallowing, she'd have to deal with it eventually so she might as well get it over with, right? And besides no problem ever go solved while brooding.

Lois' proactive way of life had served her well through the years, as well as in her profession. However, in this situation it was making her borderline psychotic.

There was absolutely nothing she could do and it didn't just bother her, it gnawed at her sanity! She couldn't do a damn thing but sit and wait. And she was pretty sure it was going to drive her over the edge.

Short drive.

Dammit she hated this! She'd never felt so utterly helpless in her entire life!

Leaning against the vending machine, she began to unconsciously play with the stirring straw in her coffee. A frustrated groan escaped her lips.

BANG!

Her fist hit the cursed piece of machinery fast and hard. She _really_ hated this! Consumed by her thoughts Lois didn't notice the door open.

"I think it's dead, already."

The corners of her mouth twitched.

Clark.

"I'm fine, Smallville."

She answered before he had a chance ask her how she was.

"Bullshit."

Lois' head snapped up so fast she almost got whiplash. Did Clark 'Boy Scout' Kent just curse? In all the years she'd known him she'd never, ever heard him utter a single swear word, not once! In fact, it had actually been a goal of hers for some time, way back when she lived at the farm, to annoy him to the point of fowl profanity. Her face was the mixture of astonishment and amusement.

"What?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. What would your mother say if she heard you using language like that Clark Kent!"

He smirked and pushed himself off of the wall.

"I'm just calling your bluff, Lane. "

Lois snorted. Leave it up to 'Mr. Hero Complex' to swoop in and try to save the day!

She really wasn't in the mood.

"Y'know you may have Chloe and your sister fooled, but I know you. And you're anything, but fine."

"Is that right? Well, tell me Smallville what am I, then? Since you know me _so_ well!"

She turned to face him, coffee forgotten hands flying to her hips. Pursing her plump lips she narrowed her eyes, like a predator preparing to attack its prey.

Her anger had flared unexpectedly fast. She was cranky. She hadn't slept in days; she was in desperate need of a long, hot shower. The man she had believed to be invincible since the age of two was fighting for his life, and all she wanted to do was enjoy her poor excuse for a cup of coffee, in peace. Why couldn't he understand that?

But Clark would not be deterred from his mission.

Sensing the onset of a fight was dangerously close he made a quick assessment of the situation and decided to shut the door, hoping it would help muffle the inevitable screaming that was about to take place.

He had to go about this as gingerly as possible.

"Well? I'm waiting Clark. Please enlighten me on MY feelings, will you?"

The sickly sweet sound of her voice was laced with sarcastic malice.

Her arms left her hips to cross defiantly over her chest.

Oh, yeah she was pissed.

Clark tried to approach the topic as cautiously as possible.

"Lo, I just think that it's not…_healthy_ to keep all your feelings bottled up-"

"Like your one to talk, Broody McBroodster!"

Okay, Lane camp: One.

"Don't try to turn this around of me! I'm not the one hiding out with the vending machines pretending that everything's okay, when it's not!"

Kent camp: One

"I'm not hiding!"

"Bullshit!"

"Oh? And what do you want me to do, Clark? Fall apart? I know you wanna help, and I mean this in the nicest way possible: Butt out! I'm not some damsel in distress that needs saving!"

"Bullshit!"

Okay, it had been cute the first couple of times he said it. Now it was getting old, real fast.

"Quit saying that!"

"Then stop lying to me!"

"I'm not!"

"Bull-"

"I swear to God Clark Kent, if you say that one more time-"

She let the threat hang in the air, glaring murderously at him.

Clark took a few deep breaths trying to get his anger under control. Leave it up to Lois Lane to drive him to cursing. The next time he spoke his voice was gentler, more under control.

" Lois, I'm just worried about you, okay?"

Her features softened slightly. She couldn't fault him for being concerned, he was her best friend and if their roles were switched she'd probably be doing the same thing. But she didn't need him to lecture her. She needed him to-

"I told you, Smallville, I'm fine," she repeated with more confidence than she felt.

It suddenly dawned on him; _God he was so stupid sometimes!_

"Okay, I'll drop it."

"Thanks,"

They both stood there letting the awkward silence go on for just a second too long for Lois' taste.

"Well, I guess I should be getting back," she declared, starting for the door, but as she passed by him, Clark boldly grabbed her and swiftly pulled her into a tight hug.

Lois didn't hesitate to let herself melt into his embrace.

_This_ was what she needed, though she'd never admit that him. There was just something about the way he held her; she couldn't quite put it into words. It was different from the way anybody else hugged her. She felt a deeper level of comfort with his body pressed intimately to hers.

She didn't just experience all the clichéd feelings of warmth and safety; it was more than that,

She felt at home in his arms.

He couldn't help smiling when she snuggled closer to his body wrapping her own arms around his middle and burying her head in the nape of his neck with a sigh of contentment.

It was all going to be, okay. She just knew it.

As long as he held her, everything was going to be fine.

The End?

**A/N I think this will just be a oneshot, for now, but if I get inspired I might add to it…Though I'm not making any promises…Heck I dunno if you'll even like it or not! lol**

**Please Please REVIEW!! Thanks, me lovelies! : D**


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